Link to another blog...

I'm done with finals (forever), so I can start wasting time again on blog sites! I don't know if anyone still reads this blog, but if anyone's interested, here's an interesting point on gas prices, currency exchange, and politics made by a mutual friend of Chris and me:

Brian Bowen Was Here: The Price of Gas

Seemed like the kind of thing people on here might like. He welcomes comments.

p.s. - What does it mean when a blog relies on cross-references to other blogs to generate discussion?

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Google Calendar Funny Feature

If you try to add a new appointment to your Google calendar, you type text in the box, then you click, "I'm feeling lucky", you get an interesting appointment set up for yourself...

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Feed the Warrior

this is my new favorite commercial.

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Mission Miracles

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Anyone there?

If anyone is still reading, Who do you think should get the money?

http://www.sltrib.com/ci_7742685?source=rss

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Great Mormon Literature

Hey folks,

I don't know whether any of you remember me posting around LYMA in the past... I'm a good friend of J.D. Payne, who introduced me to the Church in 2002-2003. I'm now back after serving in the Belgium Brussels / Netherlands Mission.

Now that I've been home for three months, I miss the elevated spiritual atmosphere of missionary life. I've been meaning to get into some good Mormon literature in my limited free time, but I'm not sure what the best books are. So I thought we might use this thread to post brief reviews of great Mormon literature we've read. That could give me, and possibly others, good direction for our free-reading time.

I'll start us off by commenting on the two non-canonical works that have touched me the most.

James E. Talmage's "Jesus the Christ": I'll bet we've all read this one, but I can't say enough good things about it. I read it almost three times through during my mission, and gained a better understanding of and appreciation for the Savior's ministry, especially the portion described in the New Testament. Page after page of profound insights amazed me; the fact that Talmage wrote most of it inside the Salt Lake Temple really shines through.

Richard L. Bushman's "Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling": I imagine that a lot of you have read this, too, but I'll put in my own little endorsement anyway. Bushman is an terrifically gifted historian, with a talent for understanding each development in the Prophet's life in the context of the big (even eternal) picture. I especially liked how Bushman addresses other scholars' lingering questions and concerns, and with calm, even-handed analysis, puts many to rest and sheds better light on others. I could hardly read this book for ten minutes without underlining some new piece of evidence for Joseph's divine calling that I hadn't known before.

So what are your favorites? I know that numerous volumes by Talmage, McConkie, Kimball, Hinckley, and others could be wonderfully enriching, but I want to know what you all have to recommend. What should Chris (this Chris) read?

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Looking for 3 good reasons...

Obviously, my summer internship is far and away less exciting than all of your summer associate-ships. And to think of the exponentially less wages I am earning. Sniffle.

Well, beware LYMA lawyers: money corrupts. Look no further than any news outlet in America. Every nook, cranny, crevice, and corner of American sports seems to be hiding something awful, something corrupt, something greedy. The word "sports" fails to conjure up the memories it used to: "John Stockton from midcourt..." or the first year I snuck over to my friend's house to watch Superbowl XXV or cheering Sid Bream home during the 1992 NLCS.

Nowadays the word "sports" takes me to a place where the greatest bicycle race on earth is now a traveling joke. A place where the all-time homerun record makes more people shake their head in disgust than excited. A place where one of the world's richest men electrocutes animals. A place where the mob - THE MOB!! - has tarnished the integrity of professional basketball.

In short, sports are dead. I'm done. I haven't watched a single sporting event for 3 months. I was tired of the controversy last May. And recent events have only validated my decision.

Can somebody please give me 3 good reasons to care again? I'll even accept suggestions sent from your Blackberries.

Finish reading post.

Reptiles, Horses, and Felines...oh my!!

What do alligators, free-roaming horses, jungle cats, and an ancient Greek citizen have in common? Each represents a mascot for the winning college football team in last year's Bowl Championship Series. In the intervening 6 months since Florida "upset" undefeated Ohio State by 4 touchdowns, USC beat a disenfranchised Michigan team, Notre Dame surprised nobody by getting thumped by LSU, Louisville beat Wake Forest in the most forgettable game in history, and Boise State beat Oklahoma in one of the most exciting football games in history, the excitement and controversy surrouding collegiate athletics has been overshadowed by doping, dogfighting, gambling, and Barry Bonds' huge skull. But as the ESPN College Gameday crew begins their cross-country trek to Berkeley, California for Cal's opening day matchup vs. Tennessee, I'd like to reignite the fire.

College athletics, generally, are an interesting creature. Many programs provide an opportunity for like-minded and able-bodied students to learn teamwork, get exercise, and compete (like more expensive alternatives to the chess club). For many students, watching these spectacles is an inseparable part of the university "experience" and "culture." Most programs have a goal to turn a profit, but most struggle to just break even.

College football programs, specifically, are no different. Except for a very small handful of schools (those perenially ranked in the top 25), most schools are lucky to break even. BYU and the University of Utah are on the cusp. While both programs lost money in 2002-2003, they have fared better more recently. In 2005-2006, Cougar football generated just less than $10.5 million in revenue, but had over $8.5 million in operating costs. Add to the mix all of the scholarships, financial aid, and personal tutors and the program generated about $1 million of pure profit that year. The situation is similar at the University of Utah, although the numbers were smaller ($9.3 million in revenues, $7.9 million of expenses). Powerhouse programs like the University of Southern California, Ohio State at Columbus, and Florida University consistently generate almost $30 million of revenue each year, and more than $10 million in profits. Smaller programs like Tulsa, Utah State, New Mexico State, and Marshall in "mid-major" conferences like the WAC, the MAC, Sunbelt, and Conference USA lose money every year. And their future is not bright.

Much of the controversy surrounds the structure and rewards of postseason play. For many teams, a trip to a bowl game is icing on the cake. It's a chance to play on national television, show off for NFL scouts, and get a all-expenses paid vacation to a sunny destination in December (or January if you're lucky). Unfortunately, the financial rewards are less exciting. Travel and accommodations for close to 200 people usually eats up all (and sometimes more) of the bowl's payout. For too many schools, the "reward" of a bowl game is a line of red numbers in the budget. The exception, of course, is the Bowl Championship Series.

Five bowl games comprise the 9-year old BCS. Whereas non-BCS bowl games have payouts between $325,000 to $4.25 million per team/conference represented. Each BCS game, however, pays out $17 million to each conference represented (and an additional $4.5 million if the conference has 2 teams). There are a host of procedures for determining who qualifies to participate. For the official, comprehensive, constitution-like explanation of these procedures, click here. I'm curious what you (dormant) readers of LYMA think about the system. To lure you out of your non-blogging slumber, here is a list of 5 specific questions that I'd love your thoughts on:

1) Should college football teams remain attached to universities under the thinly-veiled guise that they are merely extracurricular programs that provide an outlet for otherwise studiously-minded college students?

2) Should college football programs secede from their university affiliations and form a semi-pro, for-profit developmental league?

3) Do the benefits of a multi-team postseason playoff outweigh the (not only financial) costs?

4) Should Congress have a mandate to intervene in the college bowl game (BCS and non-BCS) and/or a playoff payoff structure? Is this really an anti-trust issue?

5) Tennessee at Cal. Who wins? (Or if you insist on remaining Utah-centric: Utah at BYU on Nov. 24, what are the odds we see another 24-21 game?)

Finish reading post.

Circumcision

There is a post at The Gray Sheep about circumcision that got me to thinking about my role as a soon-to-be parent. The author of that post shares a similar sentiment with me: what kinds of decisions am I morally supported in making for my children before they are able to make decisions on their own? Beyond decisions related to their survival.

On the one hand, here is an empty canvas for my wife and me to use everything we've learned to create something we want. This is how it works with parents and kids - it's what defines parenthood and makes it special. We'll take him to Church, teach him primary songs, and read the scriptures together. This is our responsibility, no?

On the other hand, one of those things that I've learned is that agency and individual responsibility is the purpose of our life here, for better and for worse. And whereas I'm comfortable straying from this idea on issues that are important (to me) like the gospel, I don't know where I stand on other - more arbitrary - decisions. Like what toys he'll play with, or what sports he'll play.

Or whether he should be circumcised.

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Always Have Some Wine and Cheese On Hand, For Safety

I know I am kind of monopolizing the blog, but this is just too bizarre.

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Go Forth With Faith (but please try not to incur any liability)

An Oregon court ruled today that the church has to turn over its financial information (which it has long kept secret) to the attorneys for a man who is suing, claiming that his home teacher molested him. There is still some legal battling before the records actually come out. Basically the Plaintiff wants to be able to say to the jury, "Hey, these guys are really rich so you should give me a whole lot of money". That issue could be a post of its own, but that is not what interested me about this story.

Law school and working at a firm have changed the way I read a lot of news stories and the thing that caught my attention about this one is that having a lay ministry could be an ENORMOUS liability for the church. In this case the plaintiff is suing the church for something a home teacher allegedly did because the home teacher is acting on behalf of the church. Of course the church is saying that he was acting simply as a friend of the family, but imagine the possible slippery slope! Most LDS church members have a calling, most men in the church hold an office in the preisthood, if this legal tactic works a whole lot of what the members do could end up leaving the church liable. What if I am in my home teaching companion's car and we get in an accident? What if there is an accident at a playgroup that was sponsored or organized by the releif society? What if I go to give someone a blessing and catch what they have? What if I go nuts and assault a random stranger on the street and they sue and their attorney finds out that I am an Elder in the LDS Church? With the deep pockets of the church there would be no shortage of people wanting to make a claim. Hopefully not realistic, but kind of scary.

Maybe I better play it safe and not go home teaching this month.

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Costco makes me hate human kind

Don't get me wrong, I really like Costco. Few things are nicer than a berry smoothie and buying copius amounts of delicious food I never knew that I needed, but there are some things that must go.

First, the parking lot. you do not need to sit and wait for a parking space when the person leaving is still a hundred yards away from their car and there is a line of six other cars behind you that can't get buy because you stopped right in the middle of the lane. Just take the spot that is open twenty feet further away.

If you can manage to park before the store closes you get your cart. Why are they always full of crap? I have never gone to Costco and gotten a cart that is not filled to the brim with soggy ads, used napkins and tiny sample cups.

Once you scrape someone else's filth out of your cart you get to enter the store. Inside you will find that the store is packed regardless of what time or day it is. There will be no rhyme or reason to the cart movement. People will be right in the middle of an aisle wandering aimlessly, weaving back and forth, stopping suddenly at a wierd angle so that no one else can get by. you will be rammed or nearly rammed various times by people going full speed as they leave the side aisles and enter your path. I suggest applying simple traffic rules. Slow traffic to the right, stay in your lane, stay on the right side of the road, yield when turning and don't stop on the middle of the freeway.

It seems to me that the slightest awareness that there are indeed other people that would also like to shop for giant fifteen dollar fruit tarts would solve these outrageous offenses to humanity.

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This Can't Be Real, Can It?

Can stuff like this really exist in America? I am afraid.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article1845385.ece

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Congratulations Chris and Janelle!

Elliot Isaac Patton
Originally uploaded by cypryt.

From all of us here at LYMA to the parents who started this little "blog" experiment, we say congratulations on a healthy delivery.

Welcome to the world, Elliot. We look forward to inculcating our Nietzschean blog-osophies on you when you come of age. (We also expect you to set us straight with your Kemsley-Patton wisdom).

Congratulations!

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I love ESPN

Best commercials ever.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espntv/espnShow?showID=SRDA

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So it goes, Mr. Vonnegut, so it goes...

Kurt Vonnegut died today and I am sad. I was 14 when I read "Slaughterhouse Five"; 17 when I read "Cat's Cradle" and "Breakfast of Champions." And for almost the entirety of my teenage years, I proclaimed Kurt Vonnegut as my absolute favorite author.

Several weeks ago I was browsing at Barnes & Noble and I picked up one of his books. I realized that, as a teenager, I had know idea what Vonnegut was really trying to say. He's a socialist, a secular humanist, etc. -- all in all a pretty wacky left-winger. He's one of those authors you read as a teenager and it makes you feel smart, like you know that everyone around you is missing a out on a secret that you know. Today, (as a much wiser, and more moderate, 27 year old...ha!) I doubt I'd agree with much that Vonnegut proclaims.

But I can say that his novels had an effect on me that persists even today. "Cat's Cradle" instigated the "existential crisis" that led me to really ask myself why I believe what I do (i.e. in the LDS Church). My wife laughs when I say how much I love Kurt Vonnegut because, she reminds me, he's the one who started me on the path that led to a period of inactivity in the church. She's right, in a way. But I must say that walking that path was crucial: it led me to decide things for myself, to ask questions and to make sure I was doing what I was doing for the right reasons. So, I think Vonnegut would be happy with that. Looking back, the philosophy underlying his novels wasn't all that deep, nor was it particularly original, but his sarcasm and satire made me ask some serious questions of myself. And more importantly, his writing was really, really funny.

As someone who has a kid that is set to be born anytime now, I found this Vonnegut quote particularly good. I may relate it to my son when he arrives (probably without the expletive):

“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’ ”

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Mormon PBS series

Here is the trailer for the upcoming PBS series about Mormons:

http://www.pbs.org/mormons/view/2514.html?&c=3wm

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Where is all the outrage!!!!

I really am starting to feel like I'm the only one shocked and amazed by what is happening in Iran.

They took what from who? They've kept them for how long? Why isn't any one else outraged?

All we get is one lousy CNN story a day?

Where is the "IRAN PRISONER CRISES DAY 4" headline? Well, let me tell you. No one wants to put up the illusion that there may be in issue out there, somewhere, that we all agree on. In today's political world, the only thing worse than being Bush, is looking like you agree with Bush. We can't possibly all be outraged together. We tried that after 9/11 and look at the mess we've gotten ourselves into.

We are a two party country. We must make sure we appear divided on everything. You don't want to be the one to concede the other side is right because that means you've lost.

What a sad way to go through life.

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Happy Birthday, Mr. Beard...

CHRISPY, IN YOUR OLD AGE,

May your beard follicles continue to grow even as your body shrinks with old age;

May your heart have fewer congestion problems than DC traffic;

May you have fewer wrinkles than antitrust jurisprudence;

May your bowel movements be as regular as Congressional inquiries into Bush White House "mistakes";

May [CENSORED] as Bob Dole after the advent of [CENSORED]...

Happy 27th Birthday.

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I Wanna Drive The Zambpni

I have nothing left to accomplish.

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Reptiles, Horses, and Felines...oh my!

What do alligators, free-roaming horses, jungle cats, and an ancient Greek citizen have in common? Each represents a mascot for the winning college football team is last year's Bowl Championship Series. In the intervening 6 months since Florida "upset" undefeated Ohio State by 4 touchdowns, the excitement and controversy surrouding collegiate athletics has been overshadowed by doping, dogfighting, gambling, and Barry Bonds huge skull. But as the ESPN College Gameday crew begins their cross-country trek to Berkeley, California for Cal's opening day matchup vs. Tennessee, I'd like to reignite the fire.


College athletics, generally, are an interesting creature. Many programs provide an opportunity for like-minded and able-bodied students to learn teamwork, get exercise, and compete (like more expensive alternatives to the chess club). For many students, watching these spectacles is an inseparable part of the university "experience" and "culture." Most programs have a goal to turn a profit, but most struggle to just break even.


Football programs, specifically, are no different. Except for a very small handful of schools (those perenially ranked in the top 25), most schools are lucky to break even. BYU and the University of Utah are on the cusp. In 2005-2006, Cougar football generated just less than $10.5 million in revenue, but had over $8.5 million in operating costs. Add to the mix all of the scholarships, financial aid, and personal tutors and the program can reliably be counted on for about $1 million a year. The situation is similar at the University of Utah, although the numbers are smaller ($9.3 million in revenues, $7.9 million of expenses). Powerhouse programs like the University of Southern California, Ohio State at Columbus, and Florida University generate almost $30 million of revenue each year, and more than $10 million in profits. Smaller programs like Tulsa, Utah State, New Mexico State, and Marshall in "mid-major" conferences like the WAC, the MAC, Sunbelt, and Conference USA lose money every year. And the future is not bright.

Much of the controversy surrounds the structure and rewards of postseason play. For many teams, a trip to a bowl game is icing on the cake. It's a chance to play on national television, show off for NFL scouts, and get a all-expenses paid vacation to a sunny destination in December (or January if you're lucky). Unfortunately, the financial rewards are less exciting. Travel and accommodations for close to 200 people usually eats up all (and sometimes more) of the bowl's payout. For too many schools, the "reward" of a bowl game is a line of red numbers in the budget. The exception, of course, is the Bowl Championship Series.

Five bowl games comprise the 9-year old BCS. Whereas non-BCS bowl games have payouts between $325,000 to $4.25 million per team/conference represented. Each BCS game, however, pays out $17 million to each conference represented (and an additional $4.5 million if the conference has 2 teams). There are a host of procedures for determining who qualifies to participate. For the official, comprehensive, constitution-like explanation of these procedures, click here.

I'm curious what you (dormant) readers of LYMA think about the system. To lure you out of your non-blogging slumber, here is a list of 5 specific questions that I'd love your thoughts on:

1) Should college football teams remain attached to universities under the thinly-veiled guise that they are merely extracurricular programs that provide an outlet for otherwise studiously-minded college students?

2) Should college football programs secede from their university affiliations and form a semi-pro, for-profit developmental league?

3) Do the benefits of a multi-team postseason playoff outweigh the (not only financial) costs?

4) Should Congress have a mandate to intervene in the college bowl game (BCS and non-BCS) and/or a playoff payoff structure? Is this really an anti-trust issue?

5) Tennessee at Cal. Who wins? (Or if you insist on remaining Utah-centric: Utah at BYU on Nov. 24, what are the odds we see another 24-21 game?)

Finish reading post.

Shameful Plug

Since my permissions have been down-graded and I am no longer able to add links to the template, I thought I might make a quick (and yes, shameful) plug for the public policy blog to which I contribute and ask you to visit us sometime.

We can be reached at http://www.policymatters.net/. I should also mention that I am the Editor-in-Chief of the policy journal by the same name (PolicyMatters) and we are currently acceping submissions by policy-conscious individuals (that includes all of you law school students - and you too, Chris' mom) who are looking to publish a 2,500 - 3,000 word (10-12 page) memo about an issue that means a lot to them. The deadline is this Friday. We welcome rough drafts.

For more information, click on the "Submissions" link on our blog. Please pardon some of our formatting difficulties as we are changing to a new host.

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Three-Hundred Dollars to bring John Lennon Back from the Dead

Sufjan Stevens is coming to DC to play a free concert at the Kennedy Center next month and both Janelle and I love Sufjan and his wacky music. The only hitch was that you had to wait in line to get a hold of the free tickets last saturday. We didn't go wait in line because it was cold and because I'm trying to savor my last few months of uninterrupted sleeping in. Our thought was this: "free would be nice, but we could probably just buy the free tickets on ebay or craig's list for 30 bucks, so why be cold."

Well, I guess Janelle and I are not only Sufjan Stevens fans in DC and I guess we weren't suckers for sleeping in either because flocks of crazy people lined up ridiculously early in the morning for those tickets and a ton of line-waiters were turned away emptyhanded. Now those previously free tickets are selling for ridiculous prices on craig's list. This article says $300, but I searched craig's list and found people willing to pay anywhere from $90 to $999 for them. Obviously, I'm not as big a Sufjan fan as I though because I'm not willing to shell out $300 to see the guy in all of his glory.

All this got me thinking: what band would I pay $300 to see? To make my little game more interesting, I decided that I could ressurect dead and/or defunct bands to include in my answers. I was surprised when I could only come up with two - the Beatles and Led Zeppelin. I love U2, and have payed something like $80 to see them before, but I don't think I could pay $300 to see them again.

So my question to you is this: what bands would you pay $300 to see? They can be alive or dead. If you don't like music, then what performer or sporting event is worth that much to you?

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Eugene England and Chilly Bananas

I have two things to say to you people. One is serious, and the other involves a banana pretending to be a worm.

Which do you want first?

Ok, I'll start with the serious stuff. So, periodically, I get in a church funk, and these funks usually manifest themselves in the form of thoughts, thoughts like this: "church is boring, and there are a lot of wackos who I should probably love as fellow children of God, but who bug the crap out of me; so what's the point?" Anyways, I recently came across this essay called "Why the Church is as True as the Gospel" by Eugene England that gives a spectacular response to my grumblings. For the more mature of you bloggers out there it probably just regurgitates the obvious, but it was pretty helpful for me.

Now on to bananas. After class on Tuesday evening I was walking to the Metro station from school. I saw a banana on a bench. But this was not one of your usual, solitary, bananas; oh no, this banana had a companion. The companion was not a monkey (that would've been cool), nor was it an orange. Instead, resting comfortably next to my chilly yellow friend was a crisp copy of the Book of Mormon. Why a banana and a Book of Mormon would hang out on the dark streets of Washington DC is a question for the ages. My only theory is this: some young and zealous missionary thought that he (or she) could "trick" an unsuspecting homeless person into reading the BoM a la Vincenzo Di Francesca. The banana was the worm, and the Book was the hook. Ha!! That'll teach homless people to pick up uneaten fruit at night.



*sheldon, I'm writing this during the time i've set aside to prepare for that thing you've forced me into....just so you know.

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George W. Bush has at least one thing to look forward to...

Hello blogland. I am still alive, if only barely.

As I'm sure you folks know by now Gerald Ford, the only person never elected to the office of President or Vice-President, has died. I'm sure he was a good guy and/or a decent president, but I've concluded that the media LOVES dead presidents oh so much more than live ones. I havn't heard such glowing praise for a politician since Ronald Regan died. Did Gerald Ford do anything much besides pardon Nixon and tell New York City to "Drop Dead"? Was he the great "healer" that the recent media makes him out to be, or did he just pardon Nixon because they were buddies? Maybe its just that newsrooms feel like they have to atone for their unrelenting criticism of living politicians by either whitewashing or overplaying the significance their legacies when they die.

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Yippy Kai Yay (How do you spell that?)

Best Christmas Movies Ever:

Die Hard
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Home Alone
Gremlins
It's a Wonderful Life
The Muppet Christmas Carol
Scrooged
Better Off Dead (not really about Christmas, but it is in there)

You'll notice that I have excluded A Christmas Story, that is because after years of thinking it is good, watching it and realizing it is incredibly over rated and really not that funny, then forgetting by the next year, I have accepted permanently that I don't like it. What are your favorites?

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Mass Transit Hysteria

The holidays are a big time for travel. As far as mass transportation of human beings in the US goes there is probably no other time when so many people are using the various forms of mass transit available to us. I traveled on various modes of such transit this Thanksgiving weekend, bus, train, airplane and boat. As I went about my tavels, and in the time since, I have realized that there are a few things people do in mass transit that make me hate everyone.

I don't know if anyone out there readins LYMA is guilty of the following transgressions, but if you are stop immediately, and if you know anyone who is, do whatever is necessary to stop them, because these things just can't be tolerated in a civil society.

Let's go in the order that I did in my trip. First the bus. I take the bus twice a day, and I get on at the first stop so generally I get my seat and am lost in the world of podcasts until my stop, however I have noticed that Americans have no idea how to properly fill a bus. Once all of the seats are taken and you have to stand, do so as close to the back of the bus as you can. If the bus doesn't fill up all the way failure to do this is not so bad, but it is infuriating to watch some oblivious moron stand in the aisle five feet away from the door while there are people crowding up on the driver's lap and scores of others in line to get on, while the back two thirds of the aisle are empty. Also, get a little cozy, it is also annoying when people tell the driver that the bus is too full because they want to preserve their six foot buffer zone. When getting on the bus have youe money/farecard ready, don't wait until I am behind you waiting to get on to realize that you don't have any change and then search your purse for a smarttrip that may or may not be there.

I could go on about the bus, but let's move on to the metro. Two points out of many. 1) Walk left stand right, walk left stand right WALK LEFT STAND RIGHT!!!!!!! 2) When you are the platform and the train is coming and the person in front of you, who has been in front of you for the last 8-10 minutes looks up and takes a step or two toward the track, do not rush the train and cut in front of them, you are all going to get on. (a similar, much stupider phenomenon occurs at the airport luggage carosel, no need to jump in front of me and make sure your shins are touching the metal with your elbows out as soon as that buzzer sounds, your bags will not come faster if you get to the front, and if mine come first, now I have to box someone else out to get to them).

Speaking of airports, there are hundreds of travel faux pas there, but here is just one. When the airplane has arrived and we are all sitting inside parked at the gate, exit from the front of the plane first, then proceed backward. There is a reason they make you get on starting with the back, same concept applies to getting off. Along these lines, huge carry ons are really obnoxious, as much as you may think it is a superhuman feat of genious to not check bags, just do it, we don't need to wait an extra twenty minutes to deplane while you get your just barely within the limit bag out of the overhead bin.

On to the car. Since I am discussing mass transit, lets talk about leaving a full parking lot after a game/concert/etc. Never was there a simpler concept than merging, but nobody ever seems to get it. A car goes from one side, then from the other, back and forth until we all get out. Don't be the gut that tries to move up one car by ruining the system.

I don't mean to sound more pessimistic than usual (although finals don't really help with my mood), just want society as a whole to work. Happy holidays and travel safely.

Finish reading post.

KIMOCHI WARUI

As many of you know, my job is, uh, not my favorite thing in the world. (There I said it nicely.)
Lately though it has been fairly tolerable until this week. I have written before about my boss with the purse or the MURSE as we decided to call it, but I have some strange new events to report and I don't intend to be mean about it in any way, more just incredulous and kind of at a loss of what to think.

We have a conference coming up this week and my boss is stressing because he has never done one before. ( He is new.) Anyway, because of this stress his ever constant "smoking breaks" have increased dramatically and so has the smoke cloud he carries with him. ( picture Pigpen from Peanuts, only with cigarette smoke.) He has NO sense whatsoever of personal space and so whenever he comes to ask me a question, he will come BEHIND my desk and stand about 3 inches away from me and begin talking. Normally this would be tolerable, however, he REAKS of smoke, not just his clothing but EVERY breath that comes out of his mouth. I should just put up with it, BUT, being pregnant has made my nose about 1000 times more sensitive ( look out canines) and so it is just MISERABLE sitting there. Plus, I have a baby to think about- I know, I know, I am COMPLETELY selfish for hoping my baby's lungs aren't damaged just because he feels the need to go on and on and not complete a full sentence in English ( even though he got a Masters degree from Harvard???? how did that happen???)

Anyway, this last week has been FULL of days where he comes up and does this close up suffocation thing, but then, Friday topped it all. As he is standing there three inches away from me he starts to SCRATCH HIMSELF. RIGHT THERE. NEXT TO ME. Then he proceeds to use same hand to touch my computer screen. ( I'm praising the Lord he didn't touch my mouse.)

EWWW. SCARRED FOR LIFE. EW.

Now, EVERY culture is different and has certain codes of operation, however in a year of working with 9 other Japanese men, I have NEVER had this happen. I would really like to prevent the situation from happening again, and also just get the man to give me some SPACE. But I don't know how to ask or suggest that he do this.

There are 2 things though. Number 1. I should have a bonus coming at Christmas time. Not a huge one, but definitely a needed one, so I can't say anything that would put my bonus in jeopardy.

The second thing is a problem in Japan known as hikikomori. Japan has a huge problem with young men being embarassed, made fun of, suggestions given to and they become COMPLETELY traumatized and as a result become recluses and NEVER leave their houses again. There are MILLIONS of these hikikomori in Japan.

It's like in the movie "Shall we Dance". They show it somewhat in the English version, but much more so in the Japanese version. The louder, bigger dance lady screams "KIMOCHI WARUI" to the larger gentleman who is trying to learn to dance but covered in sweat. He pulls her in and her face lands in his sweaty chest and of course she isn't happy. It literally translates to " bad feeling" but is SOOOOO much stronger than that. fingernails on a chalkboard comes slightly closer. So of course the guy is TOTALLY embarassed and starts crying and stuff in the movie and probably goes home and becomes a hikikomori.

My boss seems like the nerdy, jittery enough type that if I mentioned anything, even maybe a small suggestion or request that he would go home and become a hikikormori, although that might be difficult seeing as how he is in a foreign country. But anyway, what do I do? Tough it out?? Any thoughts or comments??

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Budget Deficit?!? No Worries! The Gov't has levied a Sponge Bob Toy Tax!

For any ya'll out there in LYMA land who have traveled with children lately, I know you'll feel my pain... My wife and I were flying out of Salt Lake with my son a couple of weeks ago. On the way to the airport, my mother gave my son a gift - a "Patrick Star" liquid filled squishy toy. (Frankly, I was more excited about the toy than my son, but that's my right as a father!) We threw the toy in our baby bag. When we arrived at that nice little table where they make you declare all of your liquid filled items (conveniently after we had checked our bags), the security personnel were adamant about the fact that the Sponge Bob toy was a bomb. They made us throw it in the box along with other confiscated items. I tried to argue that along with baby bottle full of white fluid, a medicine bottle, diaper rash cream, etc. the toy was merely a baby item. They weren't having it. They made me give it up. We'll leave the debate over the new security measures for another post. What I want to discuss is what happened to my toy. This morning on the today show, they did a piece on what happens to confiscated items after their owners give them up. Apparently, in many states, they are auctioned off. In fact, according to the Today Show, airports across the country confiscate an item every 3 seconds. The money Illinois made auctioning off confiscated goods was added to the state's general fund, earmarked for schools. I'm for giving more money to schools just as much as the next person, but I've got a great idea: Use the money to cut down on the waiting time at airport security! I sure hope when they are calculating what the war on terror costs America, they include the cost of my Sponge Bob toy.

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Sue 'em All

So there is another tobacco lawsuit. I have mixed feelings about this type of lawsuit. On one hand I think it is kind of ridiculous to choose to smoke for thirty years and then blame someone else when you get cancer. On the other hand, it would certainly put a smile on my face to see big tobacco lose billions of dollars, regardless of why or how.

I don't know what kind of success these suits against tobacco companies have had (maybe some of you can fill me in) but I think they have not had much luck. I do know (from the movie Runaway Jury) that there hasn't been a successful one against a gun company (unless the movie is lying to me, but why would it do that?). I guess the reason that these suits don't succeed that much is the element of choice, you chose to smoke, someone else chose to shoot the gun, it wasn't the company's fault, etc. There is a point there, but like I said, I wouldn't lose any sleep if they had to shell out millions every time someone died of lung cancer. So who's fault is it? Should anyone be held responsible?

Then I had another thought, relating all this to conference and recent lessons in church. Cigarettes are an addiction that can end up ruining, or ending your life, what about pornography? Has anyone ever sued a pornography company because they got addicted and lost their job or family? Could such a claim ever succeed? You could probably point to a quantifiable loss if it cost you your job, or alimony, or child support. Could you claim emotional distress? What would you have to show to win? Is it just your own fault you are addicted and you should take responsibility? Say what you will about plaintiff's attorneys, that is one I would like to see them bring.

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