Happy Birthday, Mr. Beard...
CHRISPY, IN YOUR OLD AGE,
May your beard follicles continue to grow even as your body shrinks with old age;
May your heart have fewer congestion problems than DC traffic;
May you have fewer wrinkles than antitrust jurisprudence;
May your bowel movements be as regular as Congressional inquiries into Bush White House "mistakes";
May [CENSORED] as Bob Dole after the advent of [CENSORED]...
Happy 27th Birthday.