Posterity Discrimination: The Haves and the Have Nots.....
I was so excited to get married and start the whole "married life" thing. However, once we moved into our new apartment and starting going to church we realized, to our horror, that we would be attending a married student ward. Don't get me wrong. I am ALL about church, I love it. What i didn't like about the whole married student ward thing was what I think I will call "posterity discrimination."
Our first week at church nearly everyone we met asked us how many children we had. The question wasn't, "Do you have children?", it was how many. When we told them we didn't have any, they either looked shocked or gave us the "oh, you are that kind of Mormon (meaning, the kind that go to hell because they've been married for a week and don't have kids yet). No one really tried to get to know us because we didn't have children. This is wrong. Why do we judge when people decide or don't decide to have kids. Is it really any of our business? This is something that I HATE. Most parents ( new or old) automatically assume that people without children can't possibly understand what it is like to have children. In many respects, I agree. I have not yet experienced childbirth. No, I cannot empathize with you there. But we do have some sense, or even if we don't, some of us would like to try to know if you would only take the time to let us be friends or give us the chance. But apparently we are just TOO different."Posterity Discrimination."
I think the infamous Stake Patriarch discriminates based on posterity. We don't have children, therefore, we should be able to do his paper route. I don't see him asking anyone with kids to do it. ( just a little bitter jab there, sorry.)
Then there is the flip side. The people who don't have children who discriminate against those who do. " Can you belive she had kids at 18? What were they thinking? How on earth are they going to pay for school? etc.." Or, "oh, they have kids, so I'm sure they can't go to the movie with us." I think this side too has a disregard for the other parties' feelings. First, it is just not right to judge when someone starts their family. They receive their own revelation, you don't do it for them. And second, you never know when that family might just want to come hang out.
I recently heard from some friends that you can't take strollers into a local aquarium. How on earth are you supposed to take little kids to an aquarium without a stroller? That's insane. Single people discriminating against people with kids, probably?
Why do we do this to each other? Aside from Mormons, I know of no other group of people that does this to each other. We are all a big family. Can't we all just get along? Is it a part of the "big mormon planet" growth discourse? Or are we all just really prideful and judgemental? I hope not.